"Girlfriend mili toh doston ko bhool jaayega kya?" (found a girlfriend so you'll forget your old friends? ) happens to be one of my favorite dialogues from Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na especially the way she says it!
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Like some kind of a tradition, I blog every friendship day with some 'friendship related issue' :D. Today it happens to be about the tussle between your friends and your special one ( you know what I am talking about right?) :D
Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, its a hard task balancing your relationship and your friends. More so in these times since you happen to be so busy with such limited time that you may feel like you've been caught between cross-wires. Both the sides have a valid point, friends- who have always been with you for so long and its unfair that you suddenly start to ignore them. boyfriend/girlfriend - since they happen to be recent entries in your life, its quite obvious that they demand more time and attention which you must definitely give them , else you won't get to know them well and your relationship may never go the level you want it to.
First of all, we need to give ample private space to our friends. there is a fine line between annoying intrusion and healthy curiosity about what is going on in your friends' lives. and when your friend comes up with 'the one' you have to be there to share the happiness his/her relationship is giving and the sorrow that comes if things don't go right. Its extremely terrifying if you start accusing your friend of not giving you enough attention since you too know what he is going through. One of my friends nicely puts it.."as a friend you must know when to step down." It does not mean you stop being close to your best friend but that you must give up a bit of your space for the new person to come and occupy. Its totally unhealthy to get selfish in this matter. saying things like "you have changed a lot since that person came into your life, its like I am totally forgotten and i have no position" will hurt all and even you know in the corner of your heart that you are asking for too much.
When the time comes to switch roles and you become 'the one' in some one's life, there are a few things one must keep in mind as well. Your partner has a fair share of friends and is totally trying his/her best to balance between the two of you, it does not help if you deepen the chasm by trying to be a demanding (high maintenance as some would call it) girlfriend/boyfriend. There are a few bad things people do like ask you to stop talking to some of your friends (especially the ones from opposite sex) as they don't like you being very 'close' to them. Jealousies crop up, fights and tears become commonplace and your life turns into hell!
Things take a turn for worse if a girl and guy are friends (as the pic below explains :D )
So who is at fault? I would say nobody! Its just a situation you have to learn to deal with and there is no formula for it except one of your own when you are in that trap. But you have to ensure that you are hurting nobody in that process, including yourself. Okay so what would the 'Agony Aunt' do when placed in your position?
She would 'divide' her precious time between the two. She will see to it that neither her friends feel ignored, nor the special feels 'not-so-special'. Reassuring each one of them how important they are to her and that she loves them all very much! Sure, its an upheaval but yes she doesn't give up! its not just her, her friends and 'the one' are also quite sensible and thanks to this, she is sane and can thus advice the rest of us on the subject :D
Probably the trick here is to hang in there, somewhere in the middle (that middle is not the same for all) ,take a deep breath and keep your fingers crossed :D
Since I happen to be in no category (as of today) it would be very enlightening for me if you share your views on this. You never know how your words of wisdom(whether out of experience or otherwise) can change some one's life! ;) :)
Like some kind of a tradition, I blog every friendship day with some 'friendship related issue' :D. Today it happens to be about the tussle between your friends and your special one ( you know what I am talking about right?) :D
Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, its a hard task balancing your relationship and your friends. More so in these times since you happen to be so busy with such limited time that you may feel like you've been caught between cross-wires. Both the sides have a valid point, friends- who have always been with you for so long and its unfair that you suddenly start to ignore them. boyfriend/girlfriend - since they happen to be recent entries in your life, its quite obvious that they demand more time and attention which you must definitely give them , else you won't get to know them well and your relationship may never go the level you want it to.
First of all, we need to give ample private space to our friends. there is a fine line between annoying intrusion and healthy curiosity about what is going on in your friends' lives. and when your friend comes up with 'the one' you have to be there to share the happiness his/her relationship is giving and the sorrow that comes if things don't go right. Its extremely terrifying if you start accusing your friend of not giving you enough attention since you too know what he is going through. One of my friends nicely puts it.."as a friend you must know when to step down." It does not mean you stop being close to your best friend but that you must give up a bit of your space for the new person to come and occupy. Its totally unhealthy to get selfish in this matter. saying things like "you have changed a lot since that person came into your life, its like I am totally forgotten and i have no position" will hurt all and even you know in the corner of your heart that you are asking for too much.
When the time comes to switch roles and you become 'the one' in some one's life, there are a few things one must keep in mind as well. Your partner has a fair share of friends and is totally trying his/her best to balance between the two of you, it does not help if you deepen the chasm by trying to be a demanding (high maintenance as some would call it) girlfriend/boyfriend. There are a few bad things people do like ask you to stop talking to some of your friends (especially the ones from opposite sex) as they don't like you being very 'close' to them. Jealousies crop up, fights and tears become commonplace and your life turns into hell!
Things take a turn for worse if a girl and guy are friends (as the pic below explains :D )
So who is at fault? I would say nobody! Its just a situation you have to learn to deal with and there is no formula for it except one of your own when you are in that trap. But you have to ensure that you are hurting nobody in that process, including yourself. Okay so what would the 'Agony Aunt' do when placed in your position?
She would 'divide' her precious time between the two. She will see to it that neither her friends feel ignored, nor the special feels 'not-so-special'. Reassuring each one of them how important they are to her and that she loves them all very much! Sure, its an upheaval but yes she doesn't give up! its not just her, her friends and 'the one' are also quite sensible and thanks to this, she is sane and can thus advice the rest of us on the subject :D
Probably the trick here is to hang in there, somewhere in the middle (that middle is not the same for all) ,take a deep breath and keep your fingers crossed :D
Since I happen to be in no category (as of today) it would be very enlightening for me if you share your views on this. You never know how your words of wisdom(whether out of experience or otherwise) can change some one's life! ;) :)
