"I'm so sorry..I can't handle it anymore..lets break up.Its over!!".Seems too heard??Must be! Its a phenomenon so rampant that a minimum of 2 people whom you know (Including your next door neighbour) would have 'broken up' with someone.And then there are some very skilled people who break up over and over ,again and again.Not to forget the movies which try to project the 'latest trends in society' screaming out loud saying its cool and you gotta give a party for that!!(courtesy..-LOVE AAJ KAL)
Not that I have any experience to speak of but still most of the times the reasons for this so called break up seem so trash!
"Who the hell told you that I was committed??Dude I broke up long ago because I found a much better looking girl!"
"What??You want to marry me??Oh no please..lets break up!!"
But some are pretty genuine..like cases where parents don't agree, your partners changing habits which leave you frustrated and so on.
What makes divorces different from break ups is the legal hassle.The rest..Heartaches,depression,hopelessness,anger etc remain the same.Some call it dumping.. like Humans are any piece of garbage.But whatever it is break ups seem like a recent trend.You are utopian if you haven't had a break up atleast once in life.
The reasons are innumerable!As humans we do make mistakes and making mistakes while choosing a person whom you want to spend your life with can be fatal.Some of us dust ourselves and move on while the rest can take years together to come out of the trauma.It can jeopardies your other relationships, make you look like a moron and what not!
It is a very well known fact that we do like someone because of some chemicals that trigger in our brains. But after a while the production of this particular hormone stops!!So maybe we can blame it on biology?
But what shocks me is the numbers.And a lingering question..why didn't our previous generations do this??(So often I meant).Is it because we are an impatient generation and expect everything to be perfect in a relationship? Or is it because we can't compromise and let go of our views once in a while for the greater good??Or does it give any sense of satisfaction to do so???(for some).
What we need to learn is to not mistake infatuation for love and commit ourselves without thinking about complete future with that person.This might be difficult to do but is worth giving a try to save yourselves.
Also when the inevitable happens, we must learn to take it in our stride and force ourselves to see the truth as the way it is!
Anyway..Its your right to do it the way you think it right.Advices are not meant to be taken!!
But a line of my own....Do ponder about what you want in life.After all nothing means its the end of your life until it is actually(physically).Commit Blunders in getting committed!!
Not that I have any experience to speak of but still most of the times the reasons for this so called break up seem so trash!
"Who the hell told you that I was committed??Dude I broke up long ago because I found a much better looking girl!"
"What??You want to marry me??Oh no please..lets break up!!"
But some are pretty genuine..like cases where parents don't agree, your partners changing habits which leave you frustrated and so on.
What makes divorces different from break ups is the legal hassle.The rest..Heartaches,depression,hopelessness,anger etc remain the same.Some call it dumping.. like Humans are any piece of garbage.But whatever it is break ups seem like a recent trend.You are utopian if you haven't had a break up atleast once in life.
The reasons are innumerable!As humans we do make mistakes and making mistakes while choosing a person whom you want to spend your life with can be fatal.Some of us dust ourselves and move on while the rest can take years together to come out of the trauma.It can jeopardies your other relationships, make you look like a moron and what not!
It is a very well known fact that we do like someone because of some chemicals that trigger in our brains. But after a while the production of this particular hormone stops!!So maybe we can blame it on biology?
But what shocks me is the numbers.And a lingering question..why didn't our previous generations do this??(So often I meant).Is it because we are an impatient generation and expect everything to be perfect in a relationship? Or is it because we can't compromise and let go of our views once in a while for the greater good??Or does it give any sense of satisfaction to do so???(for some).
What we need to learn is to not mistake infatuation for love and commit ourselves without thinking about complete future with that person.This might be difficult to do but is worth giving a try to save yourselves.
Also when the inevitable happens, we must learn to take it in our stride and force ourselves to see the truth as the way it is!
Anyway..Its your right to do it the way you think it right.Advices are not meant to be taken!!
But a line of my own....Do ponder about what you want in life.After all nothing means its the end of your life until it is actually(physically).Commit Blunders in getting committed!!
agn 1st :D
ReplyDeletei really enjoyed aaand agreed with ur blogpost...except d last para wch seems to b disconnectd with wat was written and also doesnt go well w d prev para! if advices r nt t b taken, den ppl shdnt learn nt to misinterpret love frm u! d whole blog wonders as to y break ups occur n d last line shouts out d answer and also seems to encourage it! in d hush for a wrdplay dat went unnoticed mayb...lol ntin matters until its ''physically'' anthe :D:D
yea i agree with u with d rest, brk ups occur more frequently now as u strt dating due to infatuation, peer pressure etc rather dan true love,wch requires a lot of understnding and sacrifice, wch is agnst our ego! nd brk ups is also a trend, as u pointed out. all this i cd nt agree with more and i dunno hw u cd manage it to appear like we are being asked abt it, abt so many things, unlike if i had t wr8 on this, i wd staunchly put across d same lol. kudos!
I call it, "aping the west". ;)
ReplyDeleteI mean, we see it in all US sitcoms (and even mystery thrillers), that that trend is true. There's a sitcom called "How I met your mother" (its an excellent show btw), where its lead character Ted Mosby dates a series of (random) women to find out if that person is his soul mate, as his intuition will tell him (in due course).
Of course, he is supposed to be the "good" guy in the show, and there is a guy called Barney whom he calls "evil" sometimes. And it is THIS Barney who is the role model for many guys today. His character (as in role) has been shown to be very likeable.
Call it side effects of globalization. ;)
Society has changed for good (or,bad), and we can do nothing (much) about it!
ReplyDeleteExcept expect India to be a superpower and hope west starts aping India.
west is already aping india, that is the reason u see many foreigners hoping to have a long married life, marry in india, the indian way. it is us who never follow it. it is so saddening that i saw this post on 1000awesomethings, that it is so nice to see an old couple walking on the street, hand in hand. and a lady had commented she has been in marriage for 40 years and almost all expressed shock and praised them for the 'achievement''.
ReplyDelete@srinidhi..my last part was intended to remind ppl that i can in no way comment on their relationships or brk ups.its upto them to shape their lives and if they wanna break up they might then...but yea it looks disconnected (Now after u pointed out i realised that!!):).nd the last line was supposed to be a punch line and unfortunately it didn't turn out to be so!!:).
ReplyDelete@ suraj..well yea i would agree with that!!btu dating is like meeting a person and checking whether u like him/her or not!analogous to "girl seeing ceremony" minus parents!!:P
ReplyDeleteas u both've said..aping the west is gonna take us nowhere!The age old formulae for relationships must be learnt.But maybe today's youth thinks asserting themselves and taking each other for granted is seen as so 'modern'.THIS has to be changed!!but we do not know when its goin to happen!
hey,nice post....Raksha,u should seriously consider becoming a writer :) (n yea, i'm not jokin)..totally agree with Suraj about the aping of the west attitude that we have..just 2 really bad things have picked up from westerners that i'd like to mention---1)Everything from consuming The idea that Reality TV and mind-numbing nonsense that gets broadcast to you every day and every second is your only source of entertainment n 2)The concept that the lives of celebrities and their latest scandals and break ups are the coolest things around.
ReplyDelete.People confuse love with infatuation...You have this famous saying "I experienced Love at first sight". I think its a whole load of bullshit when people say this. According to me it's better said as "I experienced Lust at first sight"
@Raksha: When u stop dating someone, isn't that a break up too? :P
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, if u wanna "select" someone, then do so without them knowing it, by seeing if their traits match yours (or maybe complement yours). Dating is kinda messy, and after a while it gets really complex as u said.
Well, opinions differ. :)
seriously prateek U must be kidding!!:O..yea its like there is no boundary between private and public life!even for those celebrities it must be difficult.
ReplyDeletethat line is such a cliche'..."love at first sight"..I'm glad so many people don't believe in it!!:)
@suraj..its not exactly..u're just seeing that person to check whether traits match as u can't decide it with a single meeting and u haven't 'promised' that person anything like a future together..even the other person knows that this is just a game of selection. but yea if it goes on for years together and then stops..then it can be considered as one:)
ReplyDeleteyea:)..all that matters is u r not hurt in the process to such an extent that u think u r useless..:)
It becomes a problem when it becomes one-way, which happen most of times, which accounts for most break ups ;)
ReplyDeleteone- way??please elaborate..:)
ReplyDeleteIts like...suppose two ppl are "dating", and one feels that the other is not right for them, while the other person feels the opposite...one way... ;)
ReplyDeletehmm..yea..that is a bit difficult..:)
ReplyDeletePpl shd just be more patient and reconciliatory... and mixup b/w love and infatuation also causes the rush :P
ReplyDeletegetting into a relnship n getting lost, then assuming brking up solves all probs, when in fact creates more!! bad response mechanism they have!! :/